An interesting piece of writing with lots of good complex sentences. Remember to put commas in you list and on either side of your drop in clause. You also need to add speech marks at the beginning of the speech.
Your challenge for next week is to write a story that has nothing to do with war!
Ms Woodgate (Team 100WC) Maidstone, Kent. UK says:
What a brill entry into this week’s 100 Word Challenge. I like the way you have include history into your story, My class have also been studying the Ancient Greeks and they enjoyed your work too. If you like stories about this time period we have been reading ‘The Adventures of Odysseus, Hugh Lupton, Daniel Morden and Christina Balit’ you might like it.
When writing about war you have used some very strong vocabulary, consider using more description to really emphasis the blood and gore of war!
You must be very intrigued by historic wars! Great descriptions, and incorporating the history is quite unique. Often in the excitement of writing we forget to ensure that our spelling and grammar is correct. Make sure you read it outloud and then you will see if it needs some doctoring. Thank you for allowing me to read your blog.
An interesting piece of writing with lots of good complex sentences. Remember to put commas in you list and on either side of your drop in clause. You also need to add speech marks at the beginning of the speech.
Your challenge for next week is to write a story that has nothing to do with war!
Hello Daniel,
What a brill entry into this week’s 100 Word Challenge. I like the way you have include history into your story, My class have also been studying the Ancient Greeks and they enjoyed your work too. If you like stories about this time period we have been reading ‘The Adventures of Odysseus, Hugh Lupton, Daniel Morden and Christina Balit’ you might like it.
When writing about war you have used some very strong vocabulary, consider using more description to really emphasis the blood and gore of war!
Keep up the good work.
You must be very intrigued by historic wars! Great descriptions, and incorporating the history is quite unique. Often in the excitement of writing we forget to ensure that our spelling and grammar is correct. Make sure you read it outloud and then you will see if it needs some doctoring. Thank you for allowing me to read your blog.