Megan, this story starts so well. It’s very exciting and your use of short sentences builds apprehension for the reader. Your description of Lucy is fantastic. Make sure you stay in one tense, you have jumped between past and present. Towards the end of the story you have forgotten about punctuation. Can you use full stops and commas to make it make more sense?
Megan, this story starts so well. It’s very exciting and your use of short sentences builds apprehension for the reader. Your description of Lucy is fantastic. Make sure you stay in one tense, you have jumped between past and present. Towards the end of the story you have forgotten about punctuation. Can you use full stops and commas to make it make more sense?
Hi that is amazing I like it .
from heather (holly’s sister )
thanks everyone for my comments
Thanks Hether