I like the way you have described your character as feeling shocked and angry. Make sure you use speech punctuation. E.g. He said, “I know who did this,” in an angry way, “The spiders.”
Well done Jack. The King Spider sounds quite fierce! I wonder what he did with all the animals. Your story is told very well but would benefit from having capital letters and full stops in the right place. This would help the reader. Well done again, and keep writing.
I like the way you have described your character as feeling shocked and angry. Make sure you use speech punctuation. E.g. He said, “I know who did this,” in an angry way, “The spiders.”
Well done Jack. The King Spider sounds quite fierce! I wonder what he did with all the animals. Your story is told very well but would benefit from having capital letters and full stops in the right place. This would help the reader. Well done again, and keep writing.