I liked how you had your character have cataracts and lived in a developing country to show that this is a real concern. You did a good job describing what he could see before he got the cataracts and then again what he could see having the cataracts removed. I am just not sure if he could go to McDonalds living in a developing country, but it is a great ending.
Thank you for thinking so carefully about the prompt. I’m sure that Eddie would have cried joyfully once he could see again. You explained what cataracts are and how they affect the lives of the people who have them. I’m not sure that Eddie would have been able to visit a Macdonalds after he could see again. They’re not as common in countries where people have cataracts as they our in the developed world. I think that maybe him going to look at a beautiful sight would have been a better ending to your 100WC. Keep up the great work.
Apologies for my late comment on your 100 Word Challenge entry. I hope that you enjoyed writing together, it’s really nice to read a piece of work which has been collaborated on. I also like the fact that you have chosen to use the prompt in quite a factual way, which makes it more powerful.
Well done!
Mrs Stones – Bradford, U.K. http://bradfordschools.net/blog/miriamlord100wc/
Megan and Charlotte,
I liked how you had your character have cataracts and lived in a developing country to show that this is a real concern. You did a good job describing what he could see before he got the cataracts and then again what he could see having the cataracts removed. I am just not sure if he could go to McDonalds living in a developing country, but it is a great ending.
Keep up the good writing!
Mrs. Varvel 100 WC Team
Hi Megan and Charlotte.
Thank you for thinking so carefully about the prompt. I’m sure that Eddie would have cried joyfully once he could see again. You explained what cataracts are and how they affect the lives of the people who have them. I’m not sure that Eddie would have been able to visit a Macdonalds after he could see again. They’re not as common in countries where people have cataracts as they our in the developed world. I think that maybe him going to look at a beautiful sight would have been a better ending to your 100WC. Keep up the great work.
Mrs McG (Team 100WC)
Derbyshire, England.
Really liked the factual information with this post, also the ending where Eddie cried joyfully – not quite sure where McDonalds comes into it!
I really like how you have included a range of punctuation. Well done for including an adverb too!
Hi Megan and Charlotte,
Apologies for my late comment on your 100 Word Challenge entry. I hope that you enjoyed writing together, it’s really nice to read a piece of work which has been collaborated on. I also like the fact that you have chosen to use the prompt in quite a factual way, which makes it more powerful.
Well done!
Mrs Stones – Bradford, U.K.
http://bradfordschools.net/blog/miriamlord100wc/
Thank you teachers for your nice comments I really appreciate it thank you