Great use of onomatopoeia and personification. Well done. It’s a little confusing as I think you are in a house and then you are on a plane. Was this what you meant?
Hi Trinity. Wow! Your writing is so vivid and descriptive. It really grabbed my attention as the reader and I didn’t want it to end. Well done. I too was a bit confused by the setting of the story – plane or new house. So that is something to look for when reviewing and editing your next challenge piece. Keep enjoying what you write about.
Mrs W (Team 100 Australia) http://classwg.edublogs.org
Great use of onomatopoeia and personification. Well done. It’s a little confusing as I think you are in a house and then you are on a plane. Was this what you meant?
Hi Trinity. Wow! Your writing is so vivid and descriptive. It really grabbed my attention as the reader and I didn’t want it to end. Well done. I too was a bit confused by the setting of the story – plane or new house. So that is something to look for when reviewing and editing your next challenge piece. Keep enjoying what you write about.
Mrs W (Team 100 Australia)
http://classwg.edublogs.org