I really liked the ‘sea of smoke’ description – that gave me a super picture in my mind and that’s what good writers always try to do – so, well done, Josh. In your first sentence you have used ‘but’ and ‘however’ – I think the first one would make more sense if you used ‘and’ because it would then give the impression that something was nearly achieved but…
Michigan, USA. Josh, I LOVE that you wrote this post as a journal entry. I have read many of these prompts and not one student chose to write in this way. What a clever idea! The font also works well for a diary entry. I love the description in ‘sea of smoke’. You have great word choice throughout! Way to go!
A very exciting diary entry. Great use of onomatopoeia and metaphors. Don’t forget capital letters at the beginning of sentences.
I really liked the ‘sea of smoke’ description – that gave me a super picture in my mind and that’s what good writers always try to do – so, well done, Josh. In your first sentence you have used ‘but’ and ‘however’ – I think the first one would make more sense if you used ‘and’ because it would then give the impression that something was nearly achieved but…
Well done for entering the 100WC this week.
Michigan, USA. Josh, I LOVE that you wrote this post as a journal entry. I have read many of these prompts and not one student chose to write in this way. What a clever idea! The font also works well for a diary entry. I love the description in ‘sea of smoke’. You have great word choice throughout! Way to go!