An interesting beginning to a story Taylor. I would have liked it even more if you have separated it into sentences with full stops. Try not to use but more than once in your sentence, when you get to the next one replace with a full stop and start a new sentence.
Hello, you have used some good vocabulary to create a scary story. The idea is a good one and the beginning is stronger than the ending. The story is difficult to follow because you haven’t used punctuation. Read the story through and make sure you add punctuation.
Well done though I’m sure your writing will continue to develop.
An interesting beginning to a story Taylor. I would have liked it even more if you have separated it into sentences with full stops. Try not to use but more than once in your sentence, when you get to the next one replace with a full stop and start a new sentence.
Hello, you have used some good vocabulary to create a scary story. The idea is a good one and the beginning is stronger than the ending. The story is difficult to follow because you haven’t used punctuation. Read the story through and make sure you add punctuation.
Well done though I’m sure your writing will continue to develop.