Wow! What an excellent 100 word challenge. I loved reading it and I think it’s a great idea that you all worked on it together. Well done Billy, Danny, Harvey and Christopher!
In just 100 words you managed to grab my excitement with a crocodile attack – and not just any crocodile….a mutant crocodile! – and wrap the whole story up really smoothly (the end is often the trickiest part, but you did it perfectly!) I live the adventurous language you used that helped me imagine exactly what was happening and how – terrorising, crept and, best of all, stealthily. Fantastic effort!
The only things I can spot that could make it even better (and they’re really small things) are if you broke up your last sentence into 2 – how do you think you could do that? – and I like the idea of a snappy single word ending, something like….Phew! Or….That was close!
I really enjoyed your challenge and I hope you keep up the excellent effort. Well done!
You forgot to use ‘forgot’! I like your use of the word stealthily. The last sentence should be two sentences. E.g. …threw it at the crocodile. As soon as it touched it…
Wow! What an excellent 100 word challenge. I loved reading it and I think it’s a great idea that you all worked on it together. Well done Billy, Danny, Harvey and Christopher!
In just 100 words you managed to grab my excitement with a crocodile attack – and not just any crocodile….a mutant crocodile! – and wrap the whole story up really smoothly (the end is often the trickiest part, but you did it perfectly!) I live the adventurous language you used that helped me imagine exactly what was happening and how – terrorising, crept and, best of all, stealthily. Fantastic effort!
The only things I can spot that could make it even better (and they’re really small things) are if you broke up your last sentence into 2 – how do you think you could do that? – and I like the idea of a snappy single word ending, something like….Phew! Or….That was close!
I really enjoyed your challenge and I hope you keep up the excellent effort. Well done!
Mr Darling (Lyons Hall school, Braintree, Essex)
http://Www.class6o.primaryblogger.co.uk
You forgot to use ‘forgot’! I like your use of the word stealthily. The last sentence should be two sentences. E.g. …threw it at the crocodile. As soon as it touched it…
sorry
Thanks for all the praise!