Some good description girls and your speech is well punctuated. I know you were trying to create the effect of a rollercoaster wrapping around your work but it has made it rather difficult to read in places. It finishes rather abruptly, you do not have to finish the story in 100wc, you could leave us waiting for the next instalment.
For some reason, on my computer the ends of the words are cut off in this story! So I had a bit of trouble reading it, but it sounds like an exciting one. I like the hot, suffocating air on the back of the neck!
I have to agree with the previous comment about the drawing. I liked the story and you have used some lovely vocabulary. Try to remember the difference between there and their though.
Some good description girls and your speech is well punctuated. I know you were trying to create the effect of a rollercoaster wrapping around your work but it has made it rather difficult to read in places. It finishes rather abruptly, you do not have to finish the story in 100wc, you could leave us waiting for the next instalment.
For some reason, on my computer the ends of the words are cut off in this story! So I had a bit of trouble reading it, but it sounds like an exciting one. I like the hot, suffocating air on the back of the neck!
I have to agree with the previous comment about the drawing. I liked the story and you have used some lovely vocabulary. Try to remember the difference between there and their though.