Hello Harvey,
I really liked your story and it must be very frightening to find that you can’t see. You would really benefit from reading your work from time to time while you are typing, you would then see any spellings that would need editing, any commas that could be added, it would massively improve your writing.You used some really good connectives in your writing such as suddenly, unforunately. Well done.
Mrs. Wheller
Hello Harvey,
I really liked your story and it must be very frightening to find that you can’t see. You would really benefit from reading your work from time to time while you are typing, you would then see any spellings that would need editing, any commas that could be added, it would massively improve your writing.You used some really good connectives in your writing such as suddenly, unforunately. Well done.
Mrs. Wheller
Thanks