holly 1

This entry was posted in News. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to holly 1

  1. vgutmann says:

    Great connectives and use of ‘suddenly’. Have a look at the first sentence, it is a little long, could you make it into two sentences?

  2. Mr Duffin says:

    Great effort Holly! I like how you have included some advanced vocabulary such as anesthetic. Well done for including for sequence connectives (finally).
    Keep it up!

  3. marfr1 says:

    Very good your storry has to many ands next time you should use more exiting words.

  4. barth says:

    i really like you story

  5. bryad says:

    Cool work Holly.

  6. smitt says:

    WELL DONE HOLLY GREAT use of connective

Comments are closed.