Great connectives and use of ‘suddenly’. Have a look at the first sentence, it is a little long, could you make it into two sentences?
Great effort Holly! I like how you have included some advanced vocabulary such as anesthetic. Well done for including for sequence connectives (finally). Keep it up!
i really like you story
Very good your storry has to many ands next time you should use more exiting words.
Cool work Holly.
WELL DONE HOLLY GREAT use of connective
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Great connectives and use of ‘suddenly’. Have a look at the first sentence, it is a little long, could you make it into two sentences?
Great effort Holly! I like how you have included some advanced vocabulary such as anesthetic. Well done for including for sequence connectives (finally).
Keep it up!
i really like you story
Very good your storry has to many ands next time you should use more exiting words.
i really like you story
Cool work Holly.
WELL DONE HOLLY GREAT use of connective