Hi there Mollb1 – you have done a great job in setting the scene and feeling for your story, I like they way your describe the heat as being like the Sahara desert – that definitely is hot. I also enjoyed the anticipation you leave me feeling at the end of yours story.
Well done Billy, a nice idea for the prompt. Stick to a particular tense next time you write, past is easier and it will make your writing sound better.
E.g.
Brightly, the sun shone through the window, I woke up and got ready for school. I stepped into the shower to wash my hair and get clean. I dried myself and got dressed. I stepped out of the door, I was as hot as being in the Sahara desert…
Hi there Mollb1 – you have done a great job in setting the scene and feeling for your story, I like they way your describe the heat as being like the Sahara desert – that definitely is hot. I also enjoyed the anticipation you leave me feeling at the end of yours story.
Well done Billy, a nice idea for the prompt. Stick to a particular tense next time you write, past is easier and it will make your writing sound better.
E.g.
Brightly, the sun shone through the window, I woke up and got ready for school. I stepped into the shower to wash my hair and get clean. I dried myself and got dressed. I stepped out of the door, I was as hot as being in the Sahara desert…