This is a really nice piece, a great use of the prompt! The prompt is picture of some sculptures in Kew Gardens. Bringing visual effect through words to the picture, you describe an obscure setting of tree warriors who plot their revenge against the people above. By setting out the plot in the first sentence, the disgruntled tree warriors, you create a structure which gives the piece stability and puts the reader in the centre of the action. Using this makes the reader feel attached to the piece, and makes them more engaged. This makes the piece interesting right from the start. This topic of mythology is one that many will be familiar with, even in their own personal lives, as I’m sure most people have been familiar with the genre at some points of their lives. This makes it very relatable to the reader. This makes the reader imagine such a visual description of the setting as a whole. I can relate to this as I love the genre myself, such as the Lord of the Rings books. By explaining clearly the atmosphere, such as how their leader is called Jake, you engage with the reader. You use imagery which fits perfectly with the setting. Bringing in specific information like how they are trapped underground demonstrates great imagination and is very fitting in the setting. This puts the reader in the front of the story, and this really makes you focus on the piece. The piece suddenly turns more suspenseful, as the tree warriors reach the surface. This really captures the attention of the reader. With further distress, as we realise they are planning to overthrow humans, the piece is left on a cliff hanger, but with a glimmer of hope that the people will rise again to defeat them. Good use of grammar and punctuation too, especially your use of exclamation marks. Keep up the good work!
Hi Kobe,
This is a really nice piece, a great use of the prompt! The prompt is picture of some sculptures in Kew Gardens. Bringing visual effect through words to the picture, you describe an obscure setting of tree warriors who plot their revenge against the people above. By setting out the plot in the first sentence, the disgruntled tree warriors, you create a structure which gives the piece stability and puts the reader in the centre of the action. Using this makes the reader feel attached to the piece, and makes them more engaged. This makes the piece interesting right from the start. This topic of mythology is one that many will be familiar with, even in their own personal lives, as I’m sure most people have been familiar with the genre at some points of their lives. This makes it very relatable to the reader. This makes the reader imagine such a visual description of the setting as a whole. I can relate to this as I love the genre myself, such as the Lord of the Rings books. By explaining clearly the atmosphere, such as how their leader is called Jake, you engage with the reader. You use imagery which fits perfectly with the setting. Bringing in specific information like how they are trapped underground demonstrates great imagination and is very fitting in the setting. This puts the reader in the front of the story, and this really makes you focus on the piece. The piece suddenly turns more suspenseful, as the tree warriors reach the surface. This really captures the attention of the reader. With further distress, as we realise they are planning to overthrow humans, the piece is left on a cliff hanger, but with a glimmer of hope that the people will rise again to defeat them. Good use of grammar and punctuation too, especially your use of exclamation marks. Keep up the good work!
This was an AMAZING story! Were you trying to make the rotting tree pun? Am I the only one who finds that amusing?