The grand opening of the Smith’s new museum of art early one winter’s morning set the scene for a crime thriller. For the Smiths, a hectic start to the day was followed by the discovery some people had broken into their gallery and were planning to take all of the art. A phone call, a quick response, and the police arrived to capture the thieves at work. Your story could be the making of a crime thriller. Well done.
You have made good use of the prompt in your story and had thought about what “all” was, where “all” was and why “all” might be moved as suggested by “What to think about” in the prompt. Again, well done.
My suggestion might be to look at “there” in your story. “There” is a place whereas “their” means belonging to them. I know it’s easy to mix them up when you have great ideas to share.
I hope you can continue entering the 100WC. It gives you a chance to share your growing skills as a writer.
Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia
Hello Aimee,
The grand opening of the Smith’s new museum of art early one winter’s morning set the scene for a crime thriller. For the Smiths, a hectic start to the day was followed by the discovery some people had broken into their gallery and were planning to take all of the art. A phone call, a quick response, and the police arrived to capture the thieves at work. Your story could be the making of a crime thriller. Well done.
You have made good use of the prompt in your story and had thought about what “all” was, where “all” was and why “all” might be moved as suggested by “What to think about” in the prompt. Again, well done.
My suggestion might be to look at “there” in your story. “There” is a place whereas “their” means belonging to them. I know it’s easy to mix them up when you have great ideas to share.
I hope you can continue entering the 100WC. It gives you a chance to share your growing skills as a writer.
Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia