Some great ideas. I like your use of speech and it is well punctuated although remember to start the speech with a capital letter! You’ve also made some good language choices, especially, ‘apparently,’ and, ‘murmured.’ ‘in the present’ is a drop in clause and should have a comma at either end.
Some great ideas. I like your use of speech and it is well punctuated although remember to start the speech with a capital letter! You’ve also made some good language choices, especially, ‘apparently,’ and, ‘murmured.’ ‘in the present’ is a drop in clause and should have a comma at either end.