Hello Josh,
I am so happy you are willing to report people for laughing at the poor, wet horse! What a creative response to this week’s challenge. I think it is really interesting that you had a green horse come out of a pipe in the ground. There are a few places in your response where you should have included a comma. For example, in your first sentence, there should be a comma after “Wednesday the 21st,” and in your fifth sentence, you should have a comma after “Carefully.” I like to read my writing out loud after I finish it, that way I can hear places where my brain and voice want to take a short pause and a long pause. Then I know where to put my commas and my periods. I hope you keep up the creative writing, Josh!
Good use of the word strolling and however. It should read, ‘it must HAVE swam…’. Also, rethink the ending as it doesn’t really make sense.
Hello Josh,
I am so happy you are willing to report people for laughing at the poor, wet horse! What a creative response to this week’s challenge. I think it is really interesting that you had a green horse come out of a pipe in the ground. There are a few places in your response where you should have included a comma. For example, in your first sentence, there should be a comma after “Wednesday the 21st,” and in your fifth sentence, you should have a comma after “Carefully.” I like to read my writing out loud after I finish it, that way I can hear places where my brain and voice want to take a short pause and a long pause. Then I know where to put my commas and my periods. I hope you keep up the creative writing, Josh!
Kristen (Team 100WC)
California, USA