A very interesting beginning to a story Daniel. I like your use of the word ,’murmured.’ You have used speech and speech marks very well but remember to start a new line for each new speaker and use punctuation at the beginning and end of the speech. E.g.
“They still had a lot to live for,” whispered Uncle Ian.
A lovely beginning to a story, Daniel!I like the way you have described exactly what was happening. Remember that “their” is the correct spelling to show when something belongs to people – their dog, their memorial..
Keep up the great work!
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