My Mums Big Moment

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6 Responses to My Mums Big Moment

  1. vgutmann says:

    What a moving piece of writing, have you shown your Mum? Some great description and I love your drop in clause. Don’t use more than one ellipsis, the second one makes more sense.

  2. Blodwen Williams (team100wc) says:

    I would have put a full stop after Forever Living and capital letters after comas are unusual. However, this is a lovely piece of writing and you, your mum and your teacher must be very proud. I am a grandma, and would be thrilled to be described as a “spark”

  3. thevideogameplayer says:

    Well written congratulations on getting onto the showcase

  4. Caroline Million says:

    A well written piece of writing. I love the descriptions you have used. The ending finishes this really well.

  5. Mr Haylock says:

    Well done Rebecca, a great piece of writing about your mum. An extra well done for being selected in the showcase as well – a fantastic achievement. I particularly liked your use of metaphor at the end – an added spark to your piece!

  6. ♥beckyboo♥ says:

    Thank you so much for your lovely replies everyone I really hope that you all enjoy listening to my stories, I am very proud of myself and im sure my teachers are too!♥

    thanks♥

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