Rayan,
You have used some great word choices to help establish the dark mood–revved, stealthy, exploded. Then, I found the end to be a relief of calm–turned off the game, and jumped into bed. How surprising! Seriously, though, how could the protagonist sleep after such a game?!
Keep writing.
Mrs. G.,Team 100, Guilderland, NY, USA.
Rayan,
You have used some great word choices to help establish the dark mood–revved, stealthy, exploded. Then, I found the end to be a relief of calm–turned off the game, and jumped into bed. How surprising! Seriously, though, how could the protagonist sleep after such a game?!
Keep writing.
Mrs. G.,Team 100, Guilderland, NY, USA.
Ohhhhhh! It’s just a game! Nice job, I really thought it was real.