Wow, I love your creativity in this piece of writing! I enjoyed how you won your swimming competition, so went to a huge fireworks display. Your use of vivid verbs really enhanced your writing, such as emerged and scuttled. Keep up the good work!
Otabo,
How frightened the girl must have been! It was a good thing the narrator was there to save the day. I like your use of the verb scuttled because I am able to visualize the children so clearly.
Keep writing.
Mrs. G., Team 100, GES, Guilderland, NY, USA
I like the way you used the literary device of suspense.
Wow, I love your creativity in this piece of writing! I enjoyed how you won your swimming competition, so went to a huge fireworks display. Your use of vivid verbs really enhanced your writing, such as emerged and scuttled. Keep up the good work!
Otabo,
How frightened the girl must have been! It was a good thing the narrator was there to save the day. I like your use of the verb scuttled because I am able to visualize the children so clearly.
Keep writing.
Mrs. G., Team 100, GES, Guilderland, NY, USA