An interesting story with some great vocabulary, well done! Your punctuation is not as good as it is when you write in your book. When you write it up can you make sure you include commas when you use clauses and capital letters at the beginning of your sentences.
Hi Antoine,
Thank you for entering this week’s 100 Word Challenge.
I enjoyed reading your story. How interesting! A talking sofa! Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to go to a park somewhere, sit, enjoy the view and talk! Dave was a clever boy. I’m glad they believed him in the end.
To improve your writing you might try looking at varying the length of your sentences. Shorter sentences can be very effective as well.
Keep up the good work!
I look forward to reading more adventures from you.
An interesting story with some great vocabulary, well done! Your punctuation is not as good as it is when you write in your book. When you write it up can you make sure you include commas when you use clauses and capital letters at the beginning of your sentences.
Hi Antoine,
Thank you for entering this week’s 100 Word Challenge.
I enjoyed reading your story. How interesting! A talking sofa! Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to go to a park somewhere, sit, enjoy the view and talk! Dave was a clever boy. I’m glad they believed him in the end.
To improve your writing you might try looking at varying the length of your sentences. Shorter sentences can be very effective as well.
Keep up the good work!
I look forward to reading more adventures from you.
Mrs Boyce @ Team 100 WC
Cork, Ireland
Come and visit our Class Blog at http://kidblog.org/MrsBoycesClass-4/